Friday, August 27, 2010

A Scheduled C-Section is Not So Magical

So my c-section has been scheduled for a week from today, September 3rd, and I am having mixed emotions about it. With the type of incision I had last time a v-bac is not possible so I knew early on that I would be having a c-section. While it is great to know the exact date that I will be having my little girl, a part of me wishes I could have a "normal" birthing experience.
Last time I was a week overdue so they induced me. This lead to a long and painful labor that eventually led to a c-section. Knowing now what I did not know then, I probably would have not let them induce me. Even though I was frustrated and exhausted with being pregnant at the time (which I pretty much am now too) I think I would have let my body do what it was supposed to do naturally. There was no medical reason for them to induce me. I was doing fine and the baby was doing fine(she was big but that was it). It was a practice in a prestigious hospital and I think they just wanted to have the baby born when it was best for them. I think I also would have tried to walk a lot more during early labor and not gotten an epidural as soon as I did. But we can't dwell on the past and I can't change what happened.
This time I just wish my body would go into labor on its own. I have been having contractions off and on for a few weeks now but my doctor confirmed this morning that I am not dilated at all. It is really frustrating, especially since I could essentially have no contractions whatsoever and still have a baby. I want that clique experience of waking up in the middle of the night, having contractions regularly for a couple of hours, going to the hospital, and having the baby. Or even better, having my water break so I KNOW I am in labor.
I guess I have to look at the positives. Knowing the exact date that you are having your baby on is very convenient. I can I have my house clean, my bags packed, and my frozen meals made. We also are planning on going out for a "last meal" the night before the c-section so I can indulge on my favorite Mexican food on last time before being in the hospital for 4 days. I can make sure Peanut has a place to stay that is not rushed or last minute or inconvenient for her grandparents. I can make sure I have someone to come and take care of our dogs. And lastly, I know that there is an end date to this pregnancy. I know all pregnancies must come to an end but at least mine is at 39 weeks and not some uncertain date in the future.
Ok, the more I look at it, I think the planned c-section thing isn't that bad. It's just all very clinical, not very magical. But I would be willing to bet that as soon as I hold my new baby girl in my arms, that is when the magic begins.


  1. Reading your description of your first delivery, it sounds very much like mine...which took the "magic" out of the second deliver as I too had to have a c-section again. I would have loved to gotten to deliver and often feel cheated of that rush I expected to feel delivering one naturally but I must say, the second time around was much easier (both mentally and physically afterwards) and i did get to feel a little bit of that rush when they held her up over the cape for me to see...I just made sure they knew that I wanted to see her THE MOMENT she was out, since I hadn't gotten to see my first one like that. I hope this goes well for you and that you are able to find some magic in the whole process...emergency c-sections are no fun, and knowing that your baby will be born safe and healthy makes it all worth while! Good luck and congratulations!!

  2. Thanks Hallie. I guess that is all that really matters, having a baby born healthy. And as I am sure you know, when you become a mom, what you want rarely comes into play any more. I hope that everything goes well.