So my c-section has been scheduled for a week from today, September 3rd, and I am having mixed emotions about it. With the type of incision I had last time a v-bac is not possible so I knew early on that I would be having a c-section. While it is great to know the exact date that I will be having my little girl, a part of me wishes I could have a "normal" birthing experience.
Last time I was a week overdue so they induced me. This lead to a long and painful labor that eventually led to a c-section. Knowing now what I did not know then, I probably would have not let them induce me. Even though I was frustrated and exhausted with being pregnant at the time (which I pretty much am now too) I think I would have let my body do what it was supposed to do naturally. There was no medical reason for them to induce me. I was doing fine and the baby was doing fine(she was big but that was it). It was a practice in a prestigious hospital and I think they just wanted to have the baby born when it was best for them. I think I also would have tried to walk a lot more during early labor and not gotten an epidural as soon as I did. But we can't dwell on the past and I can't change what happened.
This time I just wish my body would go into labor on its own. I have been having contractions off and on for a few weeks now but my doctor confirmed this morning that I am not dilated at all. It is really frustrating, especially since I could essentially have no contractions whatsoever and still have a baby. I want that clique experience of waking up in the middle of the night, having contractions regularly for a couple of hours, going to the hospital, and having the baby. Or even better, having my water break so I KNOW I am in labor.
I guess I have to look at the positives. Knowing the exact date that you are having your baby on is very convenient. I can I have my house clean, my bags packed, and my frozen meals made. We also are planning on going out for a "last meal" the night before the c-section so I can indulge on my favorite Mexican food on last time before being in the hospital for 4 days. I can make sure Peanut has a place to stay that is not rushed or last minute or inconvenient for her grandparents. I can make sure I have someone to come and take care of our dogs. And lastly, I know that there is an end date to this pregnancy. I know all pregnancies must come to an end but at least mine is at 39 weeks and not some uncertain date in the future.
Ok, the more I look at it, I think the planned c-section thing isn't that bad. It's just all very clinical, not very magical. But I would be willing to bet that as soon as I hold my new baby girl in my arms, that is when the magic begins.