Pain, Pain Go Away

Sorry about no posts for a few days...it was a very busy and stressful weekend. And now I am in pain. Although really that is nothing new. This pregnancy has been fairly easy. As I am sure many other moms will attest to, you don't really have time to notice all your pregnancy ailments during your second pregnancy, especially if your first child is still under two.

I mean, I did notice my morning sickness this time around. It came with a vengeance. In fact, that is how I knew I was pregnant. It started about two weeks after I got pregnant and started to taper off around 12 weeks. Last time it lasted around 5 months and was just as bad. Only difference was, if I was feeling particularly bad, I could just lay in bed and sleep until I felt better. Not so much this time. It basically went, vomit while my other baby hangs on the back of my legs and then get up and feed her breakfast. There was just no time to indulge myself.

The thing that has been really paining me since my second trimester is pubic bone pain. It seems to be a pretty rare condition and it certainly is not covered in "What to Expect When You Are Expecting." The clinical name for this condition is Symphisis Pubis Dysfunction. What happens is my pregnant body over secretes the pregnancy hormone Relaxin that helps loosen my pelvis in preparation for delivery. The result is loose ligaments basically throwing my pelvis out of joint, with nothing that can be done to bring it back into alignment.

What causes me to be in pain? Pretty much anything. Laying in bed for a long period of time, sitting for a long period of time, walking for a long period of time, bending down, turning over in bed, separating my legs, even putting a pair of pants on. After speaking with my doctors several times about this, they basically have said that there is nothing that can be done. I have begged them to give me any sort of pain reliever because the several daily doses of Tylenol I am taking at this point are just not cutting it. Nope, they say, nothing will help. I secretly think they are sadists (not really, I just hurt).

Last night, I really couldn't sleep. When you have SPD sleeping is the most uncomfortable time. The pressure of your legs on top of one another really puts strain on your pelvis. So I wedge a pillow between my legs and pray for relief. We went to the racetrack yesterday with my family where we sat in very flat uncomfortable chairs, then sat at a restaurant with uncomfortable chairs, followed by a long car ride home. This left me in so much pain that I literally cried myself to sleep. Or what can best be described as sleep. It basically meant nodding off for 20 minutes because I was so exhausted followed by searing pain and desperately trying to find a comfortable position for about an hour. Not so much fun.

I'm not trying to complain. I know that pregnancy is not meant to be a comfortable time. Its just I have never experienced a pain like this and certainly not one that really never is relieved ever. I'm just tired and I can't wait for this baby to be born. If only to be able to walk again.

Pregnancy and Feeling Guilty

As I enter my 8th month of pregnancy, I have begun to feel increasingly guilty that I am not pulling my fair share of the weight. Oh, I certainly am pulling quite a bit of weight, although the majority of it just happens to be inside me. I really just feel guilty about how tired I am and how hard I am starting to find doing the household chores.
When I was pregnant with Peanut I worked in the city and commuted daily until about 7 months. I stopped working because physically and mentally it was just too hard to get up at 4am and take a 1 1/2 hour train ride into the city every day in the middle of summer. The rest of that pregnancy I just took it easy. My house, however, was always immaculate because there was no one there to make it dirty.
Fast forward to now, when, as all you mothers know, the minute I clean something my toddler is always there to mess it up again.
I feel like I am always trying to get the house to be clean and more importantly, STAY clean. I also feel like I will be doing at least one load of laundry every day for the rest of my life. As a stay at home mom, I think it is my job to have the house (relatively) clean, the laundry done, and most days of the week have dinner on the table. After all, my husband works very hard so that I can stay at home with Peanut.
Why do I feel guilty? Because I am so damn TIRED. This pregnancy has been pretty easy so far but these days it feels ten times harder to get out of bed, to go grocery shopping, to clean the bathroom, to carry the laundry baskets up and down the stairs, to stand at the sink doing the dishes, or to prepare a meal in my kitchen without having to stick my head in the freezer. Proving even harder is resisting the temptation to take a nap while Peanut is napping. There is so much to get done, but as soon as that kid's eyes are closed it is like my brain shuts down. I'm like a narcoleptic. I can't physically stay awake any more.
This isn't my first rodeo and I know that as soon as the new baby comes, I will have even less time to rest. That I will be getting far less sleep. And I certainly will have less time to make sure my house is clean or prepare a meal. Why is it that I feel so guilty now?

Belly Charms Review and Giveaway

This Giveaway Is Now Closed...Thanks to Everyone Who Entered.

Being pregnant and a mom I am always looking for cute maternity clothes and jewelry. Sonya at Belly Charms sent me a great maternity top and a necklace to review.

The shirt is the Tie Dyed Maternity T-Shirt in baby pink. This t-shirt sure is comfy. It is 100% cotton and very stretchy to accomodate my growing belly. The tie dye design is also really cool as it is hand done and each one is unique. I will say that it was a little on the short side, but I'm sure it would have fit perfectly in my first and second trimester. Right now my belly is so big hardly any of my maternity shirts fit. With a long white tank underneath it looked (and felt) great. It also comes in blue for those of you that are expecting a boy.

She also sent me a super cute necklace. The chain is pink with a heart pendant that says "It's a Girl!" I went to a bridal shower today and didn't have to tell anyone what I was having, as they were able to just look at my necklace. I am really starting to get into the mommy and baby jewelry and this piece certainly suits my style. It is simple but really cute and girly, perfect for a mom of one girl (soon to be 2).

Belly Charms specializes in Maternity belly rings and charms. They are longer than the normal belly rings and are made of flexible plastic to accomodate a growing belly. They can even be worn all throughout your pregnancy. I don't have my belly button pierced but I am going to forward her on to all my sisters that do have theirs pierced when they get pregnant. I have my nose pierced and I know how much I love it and don't want it to close up. Now there is no reason for those of you with your belly button pierced to let it close up when you get pregnant. The belly rings start at $3.99 so they are also really affordable.

I was sent a complimentary sample product for my review but my opinions are my own.

Giveaway

Sonya at Belly Charms is generously giving away a sterling silver toe ring to one of my readers.

To enter, first you MUST be a public follower of my blog via google friend connect. Click the "follow" button on the right hand side of my blog if you are not already following me. Please leave a separate comment for each entry. Also make sure to include your email address in the comment so I can contact you if you win.

Mandatory Entry:

1. Visit Belly Charms and tell me about one of their products that you would like to have.

Extra Entries:

2. Subscribe to my blog via email (at the bottom of my blog) for 1 additional entry.

3. Follow Belly Charms via Google Friend Connect for 1 additional entry

4. Like Belly Charms on Facebook for 1 additional entry

5. Follow Belly Charms on Twitter for 1 additional entry

6. Blog about this giveaway and leave the link for it in the comments for 3 additional entries

7. Grab my button and post it on your blog homepage and leave the link in the comments for 3 additional entries

Open to US and Canada

Giveaway ends on July 24, 2010 at 11:59 CST. The winner will be selected by random.org and be notified via email and will have 48 hours to respond back before a new winner is selected.

Panic Attacks Suck (or why I am scared to deliver baby number 2)

I am very scared to give birth to my next baby. There, I said it. How I got to this point is a long tale that involves the birth of Peanut. Let me explain.
When I went in for my delivery, I was induced at 41 weeks. I was given an epidural that worked great for several hours. I was progressing on a steady track and everything was going well. And then everything started to fall apart. First, my epidural wore off. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me a second round of epidural. This time it did not work, at least not on one whole half of my body. Then, after a few hours of being in Pitocin induced pain, I felt the need to push. The nurse checked me, said I was fully dilated, and that I could start pushing. So I did for about 30 minutes. Then my doctor came in and checked me again. Except she said to immediately stop pushing, that I was only at 5 cm dilated and that the nurse who checked me had made a mistake, and in fact I was not progressing the way they had wanted me to. She said I would have to wait another hour with not checks and see if I made any progress.
At this point, the epidural was not working at all. For those ladies who have been induced and felt the pain of those induced contractions, they are serious business. I was delirious and at one point my husband said I tried to get up and walk out of the room, even though my legs were numb and I was hooked up to machines. I don't know exactly where I was going, but apparently my brain had better ideas than to give birth that day.
When the doctor came back in after waiting, she said I was not progressing and that we were going to have to do a c-section. I broke down (as I am sure many mothers have done and will do in the future). I felt like a failure and on top of that I was terrified. And then I saw my strong and capable mother break down. That did it for me. I just lost it. I signed the consent forms in a haze and was wheeled to the OR, told that my husband would be in shortly.
When they got me on the operating table, they attempted to do spinal anesthesia where they inject the anesthetic directly into your spine so it takes effect quickly. This did not work. Again, like the epidural, it only worked on one half of my body. I was then told that the baby was in distress and they needed to put me under general anesthesia right away. So they gave me something to paralyze me. They thought I was out because my eyes were shut and I appeared to be out, but I was not. I could hear everything that was going on. The anesthesia was too weak. And then, because I was paralyzed, I couldn't breathe. When they attempted to intubate me to help me breathe, it didn't work. Then I heard panic in everyone's voices. The anesthesia team was yelling at my doctor not to cut yet. They were yelling to get the fiber optic scope. All the while, I was awake and not able to breathe on my own.
I thought for sure that I was going to die. That I would never see this baby that I had spent nine months carrying. That my husband would have to raise her on his own, all the while not knowing what had happened. Finally, I felt them intubate me, cut into my skin, and then I passed out.

I woke up screaming, "I was awake! I was awake!" No one took me seriously until I told them word for word what was said while they thought I was under. My poor husband. He was waiting for them to bring him in to the OR when the next thing he knew they were bringing my daughter in to him. He thought I was dead. Thankfully, everything did work out in the end, but needless to say my first delivery experience was not so much fun.


Which brings me to Panic Attacks. The other day I was looking for a copy of my anesthesia report that the doctor from my first delivery had given me to give to any other doctor I see. Since I am at a new doctor now and we are nearing delivery day I wanted to make sure they had it. So as I brought it out of my filing cabinet and looked at it, I had a massive panic attack. For those of you have never had a panic attack I will try to explain what one feels like.
First you are overcome with an overwhelming sense of doom. Then you feel like you are being pulled underwater and can't breathe. Then you get tunnel vision. Then, for me, I start hysterically and uncontrollably crying. They suck.
So here I was, on the floor of my study, hysterically crying and hyperventilating while my husband was yelling at me to breathe. All this was over a piece of paper. What am I going to do when I actually have to go in for the repeat c-section to deliver THIS baby!!!!

I voiced my concern to the midwife at my doctor's office today and she suggested I use a relaxation and visualization tape called Successful Surgery by Belleruth Napartek. I'm thinking of trying it and I need some opinions. I guess it can't hurt and at this point I am looking for anything that will reduce the chance that I will be a basket case on one of the most important and wonderful days of my life. Because right now, I am scared to deliver baby number 2. And I really don't want to be.

Secret Fit Panty Shaper: A product that I love

Being 7 months pregnant, I don't always feel that glamourous. In fact most days I don't feel glamourous at all. So when I had to attend a wedding last weekend, I was dreading it. Not because I don't like weddings. In fact, I love weddings. It was because I knew I had to wear a dress. I don't know if any of you other women out there have ever had to find an affordable, semi-formal maternity dress but I can tell you right now that they don't exist. I looked at every store possible and the only maternity dresses I found were something a 45 year old elementary school teacher would wear. I knew I really wanted a black or black and white dress so on a whim I decided to check out White House/Black Market for a dress. Not a maternity store, not even a store I had ever bought a dress from. I happened to find a really great long black and white patterened dress that worked perfectly as a maternity dress due to the empire waste. Only thing was, I hated how my hips and thighs looked in the dress. I bought the dress anyway and decided to see if I could find a maternity shaper that worked with it.

I found the Secret Fit Panty Shaper at Motherhood Maternity and could not have been more pleased. The panty fit from mid thigh all the way up to my bra line. I was worried because I didn't want anything to feel like it was constricting me. To the contrary, this shaper made everything feel as though it was being held in and supported. The dress looked great on that night and I felt really confident. The shaper also helped support my belly and really took away any back or side pains so I could dance with my husband all night. The fabric breathed really well so I never felt like I was overheating. I would recommend this shaper to any pregnant woman out there, for a special occasion or even under everyday clothing just to smooth out your clothing's appearance. Let's face it. Anything that can make us feel a little more confident while we are pregnant is a good thing. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. If you have tried any other pregnancy shaper that worked for you, let me know.